Ethnography and Duality

Conducting an ethnography provides the analytical and research opportunity to observe a culture from an outside perspective. However the unique opportunity to uncover and deconstruct one's own ethnographic landscape introduces complexities that otherwise would not arise in a traditional ethnography. Only after my recent visit to the country of my birth, did I consider actually going back and re-expereincing my own culture through a methodological lens.

Recently I had the exciting and all too brief experience of traveling back to my birth country Trinidad, during the Carnival season. Like Mardi Gras in New Orleans, Carnival is celebrated in Brazil and other western postcolonial nations during the days leading up to Ash Wednesday; it is the preemptive celebrations before the conservative and restrictive Catholic season of lent begins. I also visited Curacao, one of the three Dutch islands that I did my Master thesis on in grad school. Like Trinidad, Curacao has a rich heritage of a fusion of cultures including Dutch, Spanish and African. Trinidad, mostly an anglophone nation is a derivative of English, Spanish, Indian French and African; all of which are represented in the traditions of Carnival.

Despite being born in Trinidad, I was raised in New York City from the age of four. And although I had traveled back several times throughout my life I never had the full immersion experience of being in my home country before, nor had I the desire to live there. America is my adopted home and my a big part of my cultural identity. But when you are a minority, particularly an ethnic minority who is a naturalized citizen, complexities arise in the duality of culture. Being an American I share a language, sense of being, values and assimilation of social norms with my fellow citizens, including others who have diverse backgrounds and those who we have come to call the 'all-American' girls and boys.

Yet as a Trini-American, an as other ethnic Americans can attest, we have a duality of cultures and issues to navigate. I'll always be the exotic on the American landscape, even though I am fully assimilated into the normative values and general way of life. On the inside I have similar values as any of my peers and countrymen and women, but on the outside I 'look' different and may always be perceived as a foreigner. I'm proud of my mixed heritage because it is unique and beautiful and it makes me stand out from the general all-American population, but also amongst other minorities. Living in DC, I generally find myself being the only one with my background in any room I walk into.

Using the term Trini- American ultimately defines me as different than other Americans, but I am proud of that distinction. Whenever traveling abroad I realize that I generally introduce myself as an American, but in Trinidad I realize that no matter how I speak, dress or what I believe I will always have a home there. This is basically what I want to rediscover if I ever have the opportunity to spend more time there. It is interesting that when I think of 'home' I think f NYC, but in terms of nationality I'm lucky to have the duality of cultures and multiple places to belong to.

I dont mean to channel Margret Mead al of a sudden, but traveling abroad really stretches the boundaries you conform to, or set for yourself in regards to the intersections or your identity. I'm so much more than a New Yorker, city girl, Trinidadian and and American, but once challenging those definitions, transcend my own world view and the expectations of others.

Where will your travels take you and what will you learn about yourself?

Grandma's house in Trinidad... can you see Venezuela?

I hiked over sharp Coral and Cacti to get that view!